Mama

It is seriously hard being the mama tonight. Tonight I don't want to put Finley down in the bassinet right next to my bed because I knows it's our last day in the love bubble that has been my maternity leave.

These past 8 weeks have flown by so quickly. The insecurities of motherhood crept in from day one as I met and got adjusted to Finley and are slowly going away as we become more and more familiar with each other. My last day of work I didn't have any clue how much I would love this little guy. The guy who knows my voice, my smell, my touch. Who God gave to me to be his mama. I have spent so much time loving on this little man of mine the past 8 weeks. It makes the days run into nights and nights run into days stage the first few weeks worth every second now seeing him look at me and smile as if he's saying,"hey mom, you are doing a great job." It also makes it harder to leave him!

I am very thankful that I will not be going back full time, but will only have to work 3 days a week from 8-3. That's a huge praise! I will never forget when I was reading My Utmost for His Highest out loud to Fin and it said to tell God out loud the desires of your heart & I told him with tears streaming down my face that I wanted to be home with Finley more. That afternoon Chris came home and told me that he wanted to talk to me about work & that part time was certainly possible without me saying one word to him about it. But of course, I didn't have to say a word - God already had!